Fair warning… This post is not funny.
My initial goal was to write a rip-roaring follow-up to last week’s song about a haunted toilet. Instead we got this… A song that is not without humor but also cut a vein deeper than I planned.
During my formative years (12 - 18) if I wasn’t doing school work I was helping to care for my grandparents. My grandfather had an extended illness before passing. Every day we went over to his house so my mother could perform nursing duties (only with none of the training).
After my grandpa passed we moved in with my grandmother. The alternative was putting her in a nursing home, a choice my mother was adamantly against. Whether that was the right decision or not is something I’m still not sure of to this day.
What I will say is that elder care is not for the faint of heart. I understand that the conditions in many nursing homes are questionable. There comes a point though when you have to turn it over to professionals.
Tending to my grandparents took its toll. The larger issue though is the eccentricities that come with age. Grandma was demanding, entitled, and difficult to live with. She was both an authority figure and someone who I had to care for. That led to many conflicts that didn’t end well for me.
…And yeah. Part of me resented the fact that I had to help take care of grandma. Especially while other boys were out going to parties, kissing girls, and “coming of age”.
I had a girlfriend but we couldn’t hang out much.
“Hey girl, wanna come over and watch the weather with my Grandma?”
That isn’t exactly the type of thing 16 year old Junk Muffler wanted ask. Of course I couldn’t go over to my girlfriend’s house because… You know… Grandma.
Here’s the thing though… I loved her. I still miss her. Inside of me is this duality where I have so many difficult memories of her, yet I still loved her. She cared a lot about me. I know that. I’ll never forget that.
This duality in my heart is something that will never go away. The song captures it, even though that wasn’t my intention.
I’ll try to be funny next time. Promise.