Junk Muffler

Fair warning… This post is not funny. My initial goal was to write a rip-roaring follow-up to last week’s song about a haunted toilet. Instead we got this… A song that is not without humor but also cut a vein deeper than I planned. During my formative years (12 - 18) if I wasn’t doing school work I was helping to care for my grandparents. My grandfather had an extended illness before passing.

John the Toilet Demon never actually wanted to be a jerk. While other demon spawn were kicking fireballs around the playground, John sat quietly in the corner reading a book. He never really fit in well with the others. During parent conferences his teachers expressed concern. John was far behind the other spawn. He was failing elementary pitchfork handling technique! What respectable demon couldn’t torture lost souls with a proper pitchfork?

Gamer Ooze side effects include uncontrollable flatulence, delusions of grandeur, out of body experiences, and an acute loss of sexual desirability. Many gamers experience excessive butt growth, increase in body stank, Dorito dust stains, and a substantial loss of social skills. Many individuals may experience glowing poop turds and blue urine. If you experience an erection for more than four hours after drinking Gamer Ooze please contact your doctor. In some cases Gamer Ooze has proven effective at growing hair in the nose, arm pit, and eyebrow regions of the body.